Author: Sandi Van
Publisher: West 44 Books / Enslow Publishing

Tae has moved twice in his life. First, from South Korea to the United States when he was adopted as a baby, and then to a new town before he starts high school.

In Tae’s new school, he’s one of the youngest players, and the only person of color, trying out for the Varsity soccer team―a team known for its violent hazing practices. Tae wants more than anything to be part of the team, but worries about fitting in. Then, he sees a familiar face.

Luke is a soccer star on his way to scoring a role as the team captain and a full ride to college, but no one knows his secret―that he was adopted too. Tae and Luke met in an adoption group years before, and Luke’s first instinct is to help Tae fit in. But tradition is tradition, and Luke might not be able to save Tae from being hurt in the hazing rituals without risking his own reputation.

The main character Tae is achingly real, as is the plot. You connect with him and the story from the start, and it continues to build tension towards what you know will be the “big” hazing in a masterful, gripping way.

The fact that the story is told in non-rhyming verse is brave, intriguing and effective, as well as making it a relatively fast, easy read (perfect for reluctant readers).

I watch through

my new bedroom window

as people pass by.

Dog walkers.

Couples handing hands.

Babies in strollers.

All white.

I wonder if my parents

thought about that

when they bought the house.

Thought about how we’d stick out

like Korean sore thumbs.

There is very little dialogue, and it’s almost entirely framed in flow-of-consciousness on Tae’s part. We end up knowing him quite intimately, from his passion for soccer to his loving but often clueless (about racism) adoptive parents and younger brother. And then there are his very real fears about the sinister intentions of his teammates, and their dangerous hazing traditions. It pulls at Tae, the need to fit in and the desire to make the team, versus doing what is right.

Lined up with all the other

sweaty underclassmen

waiting

for

our

execution.

Look, it’s not that bad,

Luke says.

It’s just stuff the guys do

every year to the new players,

like, an initiation.

A way to join the group.

Team bonding.

You get it, right?

A secondary aspect of the story is Tae’s former childhood friend, Luke, whose point of view we slip into sporadically. Luke feels a need to distance himself from the team newcomer he pretends not to know, in order to hide his own identity as an adoptee and maintain his place as an accepted upper-classman player. Also, he suffered his own trial-by-fire initiation – so why not turn his head when Tae does, as “having his back” would have negative consequences for himself?

Unfortunately, the very short, shallow forays into Luke’s point of view add little to the story. They are almost more of a distraction and confusion, as we never really get to know him and have to pause just to check we’re in a different point of view when he appears. It was a good idea, but not as effective as the author may have hoped.

Curious, too, that a Caucasian author creates a main character who is a Korean suffering racism. Surely, Own Voices might have something to say about that, but I won’t go any further down that rabbit hole.

Finally, the ending feels a little rushed, but it more or less works anyway.

Overall, this is a beautifully crafted book that deals with a highly relevant, current issue – hazing. That fact that it dips into racism and prejudice against adoptees deepens it that much more. Its biggest accomplishments are the plot authenticity, lyrical writing and strong bond the reader forms with Tae. The tension and true-to-life situations and emotions he experiences capture us entirely.

Pushed, shoved,

we fall—

no longer individuals

but a collection of bodies—

into the water.

Cold

so cold

the weight of my shoes

pulling my body

down

down

down.

I push with my arms,

reach the surface,

take a breath.

My teammates line the edge

of the lake.

They chant:

A warrior is

strong!

A warrior is

tough!

A warrior is

ready for battle!

Over and over

as we tread water

and try not to sink.

It’s a highly recommended read.

- Pam Withers