Posted: July 4, 2025
Author: Kate Bornstein
Publisher: Triangle Square
It features a catalog of 101 alternatives to suicide that range from the playful to the irreverent to the highly controversial. Designed to encourage readers to give themselves permission to unleash their hearts’ harmless desires, the book brings its reader on a self-validating journey toward a resounding decision to choose life.
Tenderly intimate and unapologetically edgy, Bornstein is the radical role model, the affectionate best friend and the guiding mentor all in one.
This is an excellent book. In it, Kate Bornstein has thoughtfully laid out a number of ways to help people dealing with suicidal thoughts switch their thinking.
Friends (including teen friends) of people in crisis, as well as clinicians and family members, will appreciate this book, as it provides those in supporting roles with insight into some challenges their friend, relative or client might be facing, and knowledge on how best to provide the needed support.
It provides a new perspective and new understanding of the ways that some people may look at life. At times Bornstein skillfully uses humor to help navigate very difficult conversations. The book is written in a unique style, combining first- and second-person narrative to help engage the reader.
In the beginning of the book, Bornstein explains clearly their own life struggles with depression and feelings of conflict within their inner self. Bornstein identifies challenges that people may face when they aren’t exactly in step with preconceived societal expectations. The author uses personal experience as well as the experiences of others who may have felt marginalized in life to make the book as inclusive and identifiable to as many people as possible.
Bornstein’s book does succeed in being widely inclusive but it primarily reaches out to those in the LGBTQ sector, identifying situations that are unique and particular to them.
In the second section of the book, Bornstein presents “101 alternatives to suicide,” covering the basics such as reaching out, finding a friend, seeking professional help, reading, writing, music — the list goes on and on. Bornstein then provides alternatives that may seem counterintuitive, but for some people could help them hang on for another day.
Some of the options discussed could leave the reader feeling uncomfortable. However, honestly looking at difficult alternatives may be the best way to help people through a difficult time. If even just one person is helped by her alternative suggestions, then they have done the job that is the core mission of the book.
I would strongly recommend this book for a young person who is in high school or older, but I do feel that the majority of those in the early sector of the young-adult group would have a difficult time reading and understanding the first part of the book, as many of the concepts are complex. It is a book that could make a difference in a parent understanding their child or a teacher understanding a student or a clinician understanding their client, especially those who are dealing with gender, sexual and or identity issues.
This is a book that I appreciate very much and will pass along to friends and family.
– Meryl Smith